


10th Circle

by MaroonGhost



Category: Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonGhost/pseuds/MaroonGhost
Summary: The happenings of the harem once it's officially formed.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Cerberus/The Helltaker/Justice/Lucifer/Malina/Modeus/Pandemonica/Zdrada (Helltaker)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

"Beelzebub."  
"Lucy."  
"That's Lucifer."  
With everyone else awaiting for his return to the abode, Lucifer, Malina and Cerberus were sent to rescue Helltaker from the one-way portal he opened on his own carpet patterns. Unfortunately, Helltaker had grown attached to Beelzebub in his time with her. Only God knows what they did down there, and even He'd rather not know at all.  
There was a justified reason for Beelzebub to be stuck down here. After all, she did blind Justice, one of the most powerful demons in Lucifer's army, without much trouble. She probably would've killed her if it weren't for the fact demons are immortal. But there was a lot of disagreement over whether or not she could be added to the harem herself. Lucifer was quick to say no, but she was outvoted four to one in this pocket dimension.  
"I can't believe this is happening," said Lucifer. "You all are too horny for your own good."  
"You seem to be the only one against it," said Malina.  
"What about Justice or Judgement? They're gonna hate having her around!"  
"Well," said Cerberus, "Zdrada, Pandy, Azazel and Modeus will definitely appreciate more people! Don't their voices count, too?"  
"The more the merrier," said Helltaker.  
"Hell's not even a democracy," said Lucifer. "Alright, fine. But your three are gonna regret it."  
And so the portal reopened in the living room, everyone turning their attention to it. Out stepped five people. Or seven, if Cerberus counts as three. Everyone inside the house were happy the first four made it back safe and sound, but everyone save Judgement and Justice were confused over the fifth entrant.  
"Who's that?" asked Azazel.  
"Beelzebub," said Lucifer.  
"That Beelzebub?" asked Pandemonica.  
"Aren't many others with that name," answered Lucifer.  
"Fair."  
"Haven't seen her since she blinded me," said Justice, with her usual chill tone in her throat. "Well, I still haven't seen her technically."  
"Har de har."  
"But the more the merrier."  
Lucifer was completely taken aback that Justice, someone who fought long and hard to keep all Lucifer's citizens safe when Beelzebub threatened their safety, would be so careless about sleeping under the same roof as her. Perhaps in the same bed. For someone blind, she was staring at Beel's chest an awful lot.  
"Judgement!" called Lucifer. "Help me out here!"  
"Eh," she responded, "I always thought eternal banishment was a little harsh. How long has it been?"  
"Roughly three millenia," answered Pandemonica.  
"Long enough."  
Judgement too? Lucifer made her way to the couch to sit down, needing the strength that kept her upright while standing to register what was about to happen. Beelzebub back in her sight? She didn't even deserve to breathe her air.  
"At least she's hot," said Zdrada from the corner of the room. "She was fuckin' ugly when we saw her through that portal."  
"Why thank you," said Beelzebub. "I've always prided myself on my boobs."  
"Definitely the biggest I've seen in a while."  
"Tits aside," said Lucifer, "Are we all sure she won't give us any shit while she's with us here? I mean, all that time ago I thought Hell could get worse with her around."  
"Trust me," said Justice, "I've defeated her once and I can do it again. You can count on me."  
"And me," said Judgement.  
"And me," said Helltaker, cracking his knuckles.  
"She's wildly outnumbered, Lucifer," said Azazel. "I'd be in her best interest to be peaceful with us."  
"Ugh, you all are just horny for her, aren't you?" said Lucifer.  
"Guilty as charged," said Malina. "But damn, it'll be worth it."  
Lucifer conceded. This argument was nothing she could win. And so she did the one thing she always did when no one listened to her. Blushed heavily and stormed off, muttering to herself about being the queen of Hell and still barely being more than a puppet ruler.  
"She always does that," said Helltaker to Beelzebub.  
"I should know," said Beelzebub. "I was her first."  
"Wait, seriously?"  
"Yep. It's the one thing I remember about us I'm happy about since I was banished."  
"Well, if you know her good as I do, what's her favorite dessert?"  
"Ugh, I don't remember it that well. It's been 3000 years, after all. But just gimme three guesses."  
"I guess that's fair."  
"Pancakes."  
"Cheater."  
Beelzebub giggled to herself. She didn't expect to get that right on the first try. Nevertheless, they had someone to comfort. And the easiest way to Lucifer's heart was her stomach.  
In no time the stovetop was fired up and Beelzebub began to make the batter. She was happy she would be able to do this again with real ingredients. Darkness worked, it could basically be bent into anything, but organic stuff was always better. Helltaker poured the batter and flipped, Beelzebub got the chocolate spread, and in not much time at all a plate of pancakes were ready to be served to the demonic tsundere.  
The door to the master bedroom was knocked on a few times and Lucifer got off the bed, still heavily blushing, and unlocked the door. Not opened it, just unlocked it. Helltaker and Beelzebub welcomed themselves in with their plate of pancakes.  
"You seriously think," said Lucifer in a shameful tone, "That I'd forgive you just by you giving me some pancakes?"  
Helltaker swallowed a bulge in his throat.  
"You're lucky I have a thing for pancakes."  
The three of them shared the pancakes on the bed, Lucifer chomping her distress away. Helltaker and Beelzebub were also having their own, on opposite sides of Lucifer, so they could surround her with their bodies. She seemed a lot happier after her third pancake.  
"Well, I'm gonna go check on everyone else," said Helltaker getting out of his seat on the bed. "Don't want the house burning down. You two comfortable alone?"  
"I guess," said Lucifer, eating her fourth pancake. Helltaker walked out of the room, quietly shutting the door.  
"So," said Lucifer, "I owe you an apology for that."  
"What?"  
"Banishing you to that dark realm."  
"Oh, I deserved it. Far as I remember. Do you remember what that was all about?"  
"No, honestly."  
"Well, let's hope it was something trivial. Anyhoo," she said leaning into Lucifer, "I can't help but think of ravaging you again."  
A slight flush growing on both their faces, Lucifer said "Oh, I'd love for you to. But, don't think you'll be doing all the dom stuff."  
"I wouldn't dream of it."  
The two leaned in for a quick kiss on the lips. It was fast and unimportant, but it was a step to starting their relationship again.  
"You two doing alright up there?" shouted Helltaker.  
"Just peachy," shouted back Beelzebub.  
"Just peachy."


	2. Coffee and Cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pandemonica and Zdrada have a strange relationship.

It was midmorning. Lucifer, Helltaker, Judgement, Cerberus and Pandemonica were getting ready for work, while everyone else was lazing around in casual wear. They were all in the kitchen, eating pancakes and drinking coffee. Well, Pandemonica was definitely drinking most the coffee. Everyone was wondering why she didn't take the entire pot for herself. She may as well have.  
Her pupils shrunken to the size of pinheads, she felt ready to take on the world. "C'mon Hell," she said to herself, standing up and straightening her glasses, "Gimme your best shot!"  
"Wait, Pandemonica!" said Zdrada, getting up from the couch.  
She turned her head to look at Zdrada. The bitch demon took one look at all the energy behind her lover's eyes and decided maybe she shouldn't do what she was about to do.  
"Uh, nevermind," said Zdrada, getting back onto the couch. Pandemonica looked a little confused as she returned to shuffling along the carpet. Five seconds later a portal opened, and Pandemonica made her way to it. "I'm gonna leave this open for everyone else!" she called before stepping inside.  
Malina was, of course, gaming on the couch. But it was a little tough to focus with all the sound the vortex was making. "Can y'all hurry on through it?" she asked. "I can't concentrate with all the noise."  
Lucifer, Cerberus and Judgement all got out of their seats from the kitchen table and to the portal. The CEO, high prosecutor and guard dogs slid inside, and the portal closed in on itself, no longer making any noise.  
Zdrada looked at where the portal was and sighed to herself, a little smoke coming out of her orifices. Beelzebub and Modeus could see she was a little upset.  
"You alright, Zdrada?" asked Beelzebub. "You seem a little upset."  
"Huh, me?" she answered. "No, I'm fine."  
"That's the third time that's happened," said Modeus. "You were about to tell Pandemonica something but you suddenly change you mind when she looks at you."  
"Well, it's nothing. Go back to your romantic comedies."  
"OK, if you insist."  
Malina had her sister's arm draped across her shoulders as she leaned forward, sucked into her game. She barely grunted a farewell to Helltaker when he announced he was leaving for work. But Zdrada was happy he was gone, because it meant his room was free. She excused herself and made her way up the stairs. Azazel was the only one around to be worried about, because she was the closest to the stairwell. But she was also pretty chatty and sucked into her notes (Which Modeus suggested she moved onto a tablet, which was a much needed upgrade), so even she was unimportant. All she needed to do was walk up the stairs and get into the master bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind her.  
She lied on the massive bed, smelling like her innumerable lovers, and stuffed her face into a pillow and began to cry. It started as a slow sob, but it devolved into soaking the memory foam luxury item with her tears, groaning and diffusing mucus in her mouth. She always had to make sure she never got too loud for the people downstairs to hear her. Tear after tear was absorbed into the pillow as she wept and wailed softly, getting all the negativity out of her system.  
There were a lot of things Zdrada had to cry over. Her doubt that a rebel's path was the right one, the fact she basically forced herself into the harem, her rocky relationship with her own sister, and her parental issues. Especially her parental issues. But if there was one thing dragging her down as of now, it was her relation with Pandemonica. Of course in bed they favored one another, Zdrada being a masochist and Pandemonica a sadist, but Zdrada always felt that was far as their relationship went. Which was why she occasionally had to stop herself before asking Pandy for a goodbye kiss or hug. If one knew all this and was watching her, they would feel a lot of pity for her.  
And it so happened someone had a lot of pity for her.  
"Zdrada?"  
The demon in question pulled her face from the pillow, slobber and snot still keeping them both together. She couldn't see who it was from all the mist in her eyes, but her ears told her it was Malina.  
"Ah shit."  
Malina made her way to the bed and sat on it, patting beside her to tell Zdrada to sit there as well. She eventually slithered from her spot on the mattress and sat upright, her lips still quivering.  
"Are you OK?" asked Malina.  
"Take a wild guess," answered Zdrada.  
"Can I ask why you're crying into the pillow?"  
"Why aren't I?"  
"I'll go get some other people and some tissues."  
"Please don't get anyone else."  
"It's out of my control at this point."  
Not wanting to argue, Zdrada let Malina go get whoever was willing to come upstairs. It turned out everyone still home wanted to make sure she was alright. Beelzebub, Azazel, Modeus and Justice all returned with Malina, who herself was armed with a box of tissues.  
"Holy fuck," said Modeus, seeing Zdrada was a wreck. "You poor thing!"  
"You alright?" asked Justice. "Cause Malina told me no."  
Not much time later Zdrada had a wastebasket next to her full of tissues soaked in tears, mucus, saliva and mascara. All her girlfriends and her sister were surrounding her, hugging her, listening to her explain herself.  
"You all think I'm pathetic now, huh?" asked Zdrada.  
"Not really," said Justice. "If I was going through all you were going through, I'd be crying a lot, too."  
"We're here for you, Zdrada," said Beelzebub. "If you ever need to cry, please, don't ever do it alone again."  
"The only way your weak," said Azazel, "Is by not letting us know sooner. I don't care how much you cry, I'll always see you as a badass."  
"Well, thanks, I guess. Do you think everyone else would say the same?"  
"Well," said Malina, "Most likely. But Lucy would probably be a bit reluctant to admit it."  
Zdrada took one more tissue, brought it to her nose and blew out all the gunk in it. She sniffed once, twice, then discarded the tissue. "Do you all think I have a chance with Pandy?" she asked.  
"Of course," said Modeus. "I've read about this before, how lesbians get so close and one is totally in love but the other one thinks they're still just friends. And I've seen what you two do. Vividly."  
"She's got a point," said Beelzebub. "Say, why don't we help you figure that out?"  
"How can you all help me?" asked Zdrada.  
"Trust me."  
A minute later Zdrada was dressed for Hell and armed with a paper bag, containing a sandwich, some chips, an apple and a note. Zdrada looked very nervous, but everyone assured her that she looked ready to go, so she looked at all her lovers as she slid across the carpet to get the portal opened. A familiar vortex appeared, and Zdrada stepped inside, disappearing with it.  
Down in the great castle, Lucifer was talking to the horde of skeletons in an orderly line before her, when a red figure glided through the room. She thought she recognized it, but decided it was probably nothing. A few levels later Judgement was looking at her glorious Sin Machine, watching as the damned struggled to dodge and withstand the magical chains reaching around it when she saw, out of the corner of her eyes, someone she swore she recognized. She had little time to think over it, so she brought herself back to her machine. And Cerberus, another dozen or so levels later, saw a demon pass by that she thought she could name, but a far off sound distracted her again, bounding off the make sure it wasn't anyone trying to break in or out.  
And Zdrada had slipped to the entrance of Hell, where Pandemonica was. She looked up from her desk, beginning "Hell's customer service, how-" only to recognize who it was. And that she had something in her hands.  
"Are you pranking me?" asked Pandemonica.  
"No," said Zdrada. "Why would I be doing that?" And she slid the bag across the table. She was about to leave when Pandemonica warned against it.  
"You're staying here, and suffering the consequences if this is a joke."  
The tired demon opened the bag and was surprised about its contents. She reached inside to pull out the four items inside and lay them across her desk. She took the note and began to read it.  
"Dear Pandy," she read aloud. "I'm head over heels for you. I would like it if we could maybe arrange something to do after your work shift? I'd love to get to know you. Sincerely, Zdrada."  
Pandemonica put the note down and looked again at the contents of the bag. She was surprised. "Did you do this?"  
"With a lot of help. I only wrote the note."  
"You wrote this?"  
"Yeah..."  
Pandemonica got out of her seat and walked around her desk, then leaned in and hugged Zdrada, burying her lips into her neck for a long time. "I thought you'd never ask," she said. "I'd love to date you, Zdrada."  
"Really?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes.  
"Mhm."  
And Zdrada returned the kiss.  
Later that night back home, Pandemonica and Zdrada were on the front porch, Pandemonica with some coffee and Zdrada with her cigarettes.  
"Hey honey?"  
Zdrada turned to Pandemonica, happy to be called honey. "Yeah?"  
"Can I have one?"  
"Sure," said Zdrada, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of her pants pocket and taking one out of the pack. She then brought it to her mouth and breathed some fire on it, then passing it to Pandemonica.  
"Thanks," said Pandemonica, putting in into her mouth and taking a drag. "Want some?" she said offering her coffee. Zdrada took her cigarette into her hand and grabbed the mug, then sipping a small amount.  
Modeus was watching from the window and called everyone else over. Soon the entire window was crowded with faces that were all watching the two lovebirds, drinking and smoking.  
"It's enough to make me cry," said Helltaker, a small smile taking over his mouth.  
"So sweet!" said Azazel.  
"Told you all," said Modeus.  
Zdrada wrapped her arm around Pandemonica's neck and leaned in, the latter doing the same as they watched the sun set.  
Such a stereotype.


	3. Heartstopper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azazel has no idea whenever hand holding became something so lewd.

Helltaker was on the couch playing with Malina on the TV. They were, understandably, a little upset when Modeus decided that right in front of the TV would be the perfect place to pace around in thought.  
"Hey brickbrain," said Malina, "You're blocking the screen."  
"Sorry," she said, moving onto the spot on the couch between the two of them. The two of them could hear her tail thumping on the cushions. What was making her so excited today?  
"Damnit, I lost," said Malina, putting down her controller and wrapping her arms around Modeus in a bone-crushing hug. "And I'm taking it out on you."  
In the embrace, Modeus blushed even heavier and her tail flipped around at supersonic speeds. Malina felt a lot better after that, and loosened her grip on Modeus, reaching for her controller and starting a new game.  
Helltaker lost the next match, mumbling to himself as he dropped his controller and took out his stress the same way Malina did; tightly hugging Modeus. He was even stronger with his muscly, oversized arms, which only made Modeus more excited than before. Malina swore she could hear her heartbeat, even when Helltaker stopped hugging her and reached for his controller.  
Their final match ended in a draw. Modeus looked at Malina, who was very much wanting to hug her. She turned back to Helltaker, who was also very much wanting to hug her. She shut her eyes tight, crumpled into a ball and felt two pair of arms encase her body, squealing and humming to herself until they had enough of her.  
"Is everyone in this house a perverted degenerate?!" she said, flusteredly standing up from the couch and turning to face the two. "So much hugging and hand-holding and pecking! You all are giving me a heart attack!"  
"Oh sure," said Lucifer, who had just entered the room in jeans and a tank top with a fresh glass of wine. She barely ever dressed casually. "We french kiss for hours, use all sorts of toys on each other and even lick each other's buttholes and that's just fine, but Heaven forbid I hug you or you'll burst at the seams!"  
"I'm eating over here!" said Zdrada from the kitchen."  
"Point is, you're definitely the lewdest of all of us but get off on any show of innocent affection. It makes no sense."  
"Why doesn't it make sense?" said Modeus.  
"Humans hug and kiss all the time," said Helltaker, "But very few get so high off it like you do. Are you OK?"  
"I've observed that myself," said Azazel coming down the stairs. "I think it's because she's used to all the dirtier stuff, and she's never really felt true love until we formed this polycule."  
"That's depressing," said Malina.  
"She's basically the exact opposite of me. I barely knew what an orgasm was until we met Helltaker, and now I can't get enough of it."  
"Still eating here!" shouted Zdrada.  
"Which is why I'm so upset!" said Modeus. "She's always snuggling me and holding my hand and doing other lewd stuff to me! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"  
"Oh, Modeus," said Azazel, "I had no idea you didn't like it when I did that. You just always looked so happy when I did that, I never knew you wanted me to not do it. I'll stop it."  
"Are we cool here?" asked Lucifer. "Crisis averted?"  
"Yes," said Modeus. "We're all good now. But now I'm all wound up..."  
"We can fix that," said Malina, Helltaker also hiding mischief behind his eyes.  
The three of them got up and went upstairs, knowing very well they were going to enjoy a lot of time together.  
It was bright and early next morning, and Helltaker, Malina and Modeus all came downstairs. Beelzebub was first to notice that while they were in their bedroom for quite some time, Helltaker and Malina looked awful tired.  
"Holy hell, you two look like shit."  
"My boss is gonna kill me for being this tired," said Helltaker.  
"She kept us up all night," said Malina. "We never got a wink of sleep."  
Pandemonica spat out her coffee. She knew Modeus had a gargantuan lidibo, but she never thought she could go for twelve hours straight. And the worst of it was Modeus didn't look tired at all.  
"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the FUCK," said Judgement. "Modeus, do you need a doctor?"  
"We're kinda incorporeal," said Modeus, "So no. But what I need is more sex."  
"Me me me!" said Cerberus from the living room.  
"Count me in," said Justice. "You won't stand a chance."  
"Can I join?" asked Azazel.  
"No way!" said Modeus. "I have no idea what you'll have up your sleeve if I say yes."  
"Oh, OK, you just said I couldn't pat your head or hug you, you never said anything about sex."  
"Let's go already!" said Cerberus, bounding up the stairs. Modeus and Justice were quick to follow.  
It was the end of the day, and as Helltaker closed the door behind him, thankful he wasn't fired yet, he looked at Cerberus and Justice, legs shaking, bumble down the stairs and make a beeline for the couch. Poor Beelzebub was covered in demons, not being fast enough to get up before they all collapsed on her.  
"Why can't you four sleep on the bed?" asked the great fly. It was a good question with a horrifying answer.  
"It's sopping wet and sweaty," said Justice, half passed out. "It needs a wash in holy water at this point."  
"Besides, she can't get us with so many people around," said one of the Cerberus bodies. Beelzebub was taken aback by that, and pulled a handkerchief out of her pants pocket to mop the sweat off her forehead.  
"And I still want more!" said Modeus, coming down the stairs, smelling like sweat. "I can't get enough!"  
"We can't give you enough anyway," said Lucifer. "Are you sure Azazel can't, I dunno, help?"  
"She's too lewd for me!" reeled Modeus, like a horny eldritch abomination. "I just need a little more!"  
"At least let me wash those sheets first," said Pandemonica, coming out of a portal in the living room. "They sound more than dirty."  
"How long will that take?" asked Modeus.  
"Two hours."  
"Ugh, fine. But I need more sex immediately after!"  
Everyone looked to Helltaker.  
"Don't look at me! It's someone else's turn now!"  
Zdrada, Pandemonica, Beelzebub and Judgement all exchanged worried glances. She could kill them if she wasn't careful enough.  
Upset, Modeus sat in the kitchen, hands clamped over her crotch. She was blushing, spewing hearts out of her head, and rocking back and forth in impatience. And maybe because she was grinding. Whether or not that was the case, Azazel felt like she should at least see if she could help. So she spent around an hour or two trying to figure out how she could assist her without forgoing consent. Eventually she just decided she should just ask her, face to face.  
"Hey, Modeus?"  
"What do you want?" snapped back Modeus. At least she didn't want her to leave her alone. Yet.  
"Are you OK?"  
"Why do you ask that?"  
"Well... it's pretty obvious. You're pretty horny, but never to this calibre. And it all started when you asked me to leave me alone."  
"Well I'm fine, OK? So just... erm... actually, don't leave yet."  
Azazel, worried and paranoid, sat next to Modeus. Modeus looked a lot like an animal that you definitely shouldn't pet but the subconscious part of you wanted to anyway. Too adorable and innocent and definitely worse off without her help. So she reached a hand over to Modeus. And very gently placed it on her head. Modeus squeaked and crumpled, but didn't tell Azazel to stop. So she kept rubbing the top of Modeus' head.  
She barely ever hugged Modeus, but she needed to help her out fast, so she she leaned forward and moved her hand from the top of her head onto her back. She rubbed it gently, making Modeus purr in response. Her second hand reached to the other side of Modeus' back and crunched them together lightly.  
"Are you alright?" asked Azazel.  
"Not without you."  
Azazel was surprised at the response. It was a very rare non-sexual compliment from Modeus.  
"Wait, I-"  
"Shshsh... it's fine. You said what you meant and meant what you said."  
Modeus was much calmer than she was a while ago. She was much less resistant to Azazel's hugging, and even closed her eyes. She was still lustly, but much less than a few minutes ago.  
"Sheets are washed and reattached," said Pandemonica. "Who's gonna die toni-"  
She was shocked to see Modeus and Azazel, hugging, kissing and keeping their eyes closed, fumble their way up the stairs. Then she was relieved she saw that.  
Barely twenty minutes later Modeus came back down the stairs, lazily slinging her arms over Azazel. "It's a miracle!" shouted Azazel. "Just a little kissing and scissoring and she's finally spent! She'll be back to her old self tomorrow."  
"That's a relief," said Helltaker from the couch.  
"I love you, Azazel," said Modeus sleepily.  
"Hehehe," said Azazel, "Me too."


	4. Shopping for the Harem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping for all these demons can be such a hassle.

Lucifer and Helltaker were driving to the supermarket. Well, Helltaker was driving. Hell was a little too rocky for cars to be a thing, so none of the demons had drivers licenses. Not like it would matter much, the duke of Hell could do a lot of damage to an incompliant police officer, but Taker prefered to be on the down-low with the law enforcement.  
"Good thing we aren't in America," said Lucifer. "The police are supposedly much more violent there. We wouldn't have much of a choice besides smiting them all down."  
"I'd rather not think about that," said Taker. "A bunch of heavily-armed men hurling themselves at you, not caring that you're pretty much immortal."  
"Heh, I'd be pretty fun to go to work the next day and find them all at my desk."  
"OK, now I like thinking about it."  
Lucifer chuckled. Helltaker chuckled.  
"I'm pretty sure you guys are the only reason I'm not fired yet. Someone with ten powerful demons under his thumb is someone you don't wanna tell needs to find a new job."  
"Under your thumb?"  
"Well, that's what everyone else thinks."  
"Oh. And even without us, I'm sure you're twice as heavy as whoever pushes pencils behind those doors."  
"Hehe, yeah, I am."  
A few more minutes passed before Taker sighed and slumped down. "Can I tell you something?"  
"Yeah."  
"I hate how everyone thinks I'm the 'big daddy' in the polycule. I mean, I only called it a harem cause I didn't know that a polycule was a more accurate description. I look at you, Beelzebub, Azazel, Malina, all those women and I don't see whores."  
"Well, I hope not."  
"I see equals. People who are as precious to me, each and every one of them, as life itself. Which isn't all that precious anymore since I can just waltz out of Hell whenever I need to, but you get the idea. I look at Zdrada, and I don't see a masochist that would love to be ground into dust. I see someone with a horrible upbringing I want to make sure is able to, whenever she needs to, bury herself in someone, me or any of the girls, and forget all about it. I see Pandemonica and I don't see a sadist who can break my fingers without batting an eye. I see an honest businesswoman who has all the struggles that anyone can and does deal with, who needs all the attention and love she can squeeze into the time she has away from work. And when I see you... I could only ever see a beautiful, caring, willful demon that earns every glass of wine she drinks.  
"Which is why I hate it when someone acts like you all are just mine and mine alone. I could never put together enough words to describe the gap between my coworkers' twisted rumors and fantasies and what really goes on at my house. And some of them even act like getting on my good side could earn them sex with you all. I wish I could just punch them all in the face."  
"Makes two of us."  
"And they act like I like incest cause of Malina and Zdrada being sisters, even though they clearly expressed they don't ever want to have sex together and everyone fully respects that. It makes me feel like... a creep."  
"Aw, honey," said Lucifer, leaning over to drape her arms over Taker, "I never knew all this. I'm happy you decided to tell me. It makes me feel so good you decided to tell me."  
Helltaker straightened his back, feeling better after hearing that.  
"And now I'll be blushing the entire time we're shopping. Great."  
"I will be, to. A little."  
And on that note, they pulled into the parking lot of the store.  
"You have the shopping list?" asked Lucifer.  
"I thought you got it," said Helltaker.  
"Shit."  
"Shit."  
The two got out of the car, and Lucifer took out her phone, calling Justice. She eventually picked up.  
"Hey honey," responded the retiree on the other end. "What's up?"  
"Don't call me that," hissed Lucifer, her blush brightening. "I'm in public."  
"Sorry. Whatcha need?"  
"Do you know where the shopping list is? We think we left it at home."  
"Uh, about that..." said Justice.  
"Cerberus got to it, huh?"  
"At least I got to see Azazel's butt when she bent down to pick it up."  
"Pervert. Anyway, what do you want?" asked Lucifer, she and Helltaker entering the store.  
"Uh, what do we want..." trailed off Justice.  
Eventually, the cart the two were pushing around was half full. "And what kind of chips?" asked Helltaker. "There's a million flavors."  
Lucifer was looking at all the kinds of chips, agreeing with Helltaker. There was salt and vinegar... don't chips already have salt anyway? Why put that in the title of the flavor? Anyway, plain, barbecue, sour cream and onion, lady checking out Helltaker, dill pickle... wait a minute. Lucifer double-checked and saw that there was, in fact, a woman checking out Helltaker. So she decided to show he was taken by walking over to Helltaker and leaning on his side while he was still browsing chip flavors, her tail flipping around a little. The demon queen looked back at the woman and she was still checking out Helltaker.  
"A-hem."  
Nothing.  
"A-HEM."  
Still nothing.  
"Well, you asked for it."  
Lucifer snapped her fingers, and the woman began to feel funny. The next thing she knew, her flesh began to boil and burn beneath her skin, and she hit the floor writhing and moaning in pain. Helltaker heard that happen and turned to see the woman on the ground, begging for medical attention.  
"What did you do?" he asked to Lucifer.  
"Oh, just replaced some of her blood with vinegar."  
"Why can you do that?"  
"Eh, why not? She was checking you out, anyway."  
"Maybe we should just leave this area," said Helltaker, grabbing a bag of plain chips and dropping it into the cart, then piloting it to elsewhere in the store.  
Lucifer was checking out all the fruit, checking for the perfect plum to bring home. This one had a bruise, this one was overripe, this one was a bit too small. Helltaker decided to look around, knowing Lucifer judged fruit best without anyone else giving her any input. But what he saw was a somewhat creepy man looking at Lucifer, specifically at her butt. Helltaker moved his hand over Lucifer's butt and stared back at the man, but the stranger looked more annoyed than anything else, signaling Helltaker to move his hand back to his side.  
"That does it," said Helltaker, pacing over to the creep. Lucifer turned to watch as Taker readied to punch the guy in the face. The guy was quick to move out of the way and let the giant fist instead meet a metal pillar. It made a loud clang upon impact, and Helltaker withdrew his injured hand to rub it with his other one. The stranger stuck out his tongue in mockery, prompting Taker to curl his other hand up and not miss his target this time. Right in the face. Battered and bruised after only one punch, the stranger scuttled away.  
"What did he ever do to you?" asked Lucifer when Taker returned to her side.  
"He was checking you out."  
"Should've kicked him in the nuts," said Lucifer, completely shifting her mood.  
"You've seen me kick rocks. With one movement."  
"Exactly."  
The two eventually paid and returned home, thankfully not being traced to those two injured customers. Judgement and Cerberus were at the door, and offered to help unpack to groceries.  
"Are you going to shred anything up?" asked Lucifer to Cerberus.  
"No," said one of the vessels.  
"Let her help," said Taker. "Thrice the manpower."  
Malina got her new bottle of vodka, beaming with thankfulness as she cracked the seal open. "I needed this, thanks."  
Zdrada dropped her spent cigarette in the ashtray and swiped for her new pack. "How nice of you," she said, lighting a new one with her fire breath and putting it in her mouth, fitting the rest of the pack in her pocket.  
Cerberus placed the new container of dog treats on the kitchen counter, then opened the container and took out three, one for each body. "We'll eat them slower this time," she promised.  
The groceries all finally unpacked and stashed, Taker and Lucifer sat on the couch, too tired to do anything else for the day. They leaned onto each other, losing their battle to keep themselves awake. Their eyes closed and their minds became at rest.  
"These two, I swear," said Judgement, looking at the couch's occupants. "They care for us the most."  
"I'm really thankful for it," said Beelzebub, opening a can of soda.  
"Let's let them sleep here tonight," said Modeus.  
The rest of the house climbed up the stairs, leaving the two to spend the night at peace together. They only woke up for a brief moment together a few hours later.  
"Love you, Lucy," groggily said Taker.  
"You to," said Lucifer.


End file.
